So you broke up, you’ve been apart for a while, and all of a sudden your ex starts sending signals again. Or maybe you’re looking to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, and you want to know what signs he’ll give you when he starts to reconsider, and maybe even love you again.
Signals of interest from your ex boyfriend will come in many different ways. Some of them will be open, like your ex calling you to talk to you. Others can be a bit more subdued, like a seemingly innocent late-night text.
There are behaviors to consider. Eye contact. Body language. It really gets confusing, especially when you’re afraid to read too much into things because you’re trying not to get your hopes up.
But what do these signs mean? Which of them are bigger indicators that your ex is thinking about you again and which are smaller false signals that you can basically ignore?
Ultimately, you want to be an expert at reading the biggest signs that he still loves you. Because knowing exactly when your ex is flirting, and when he’s not doing anything at all, can help you know when to act and when to wait.
Reversing any rupture requires synchronization. Just like in life, being in the right place at the right time, and doing everything right, can mean the difference between fantastic success and disastrous failure.
Reading your ex boyfriend’s body language
Just as important as what your ex says is the way he says it. Obviously, if he communicates with you by phone or text, you won’t have a chance to examine his body language. But in person? The way he stands, the way he leans towards you when he talks…those things are a major indication of his level of interest.
Does he touch your arm when he talks to you? Laughs a lot? This is obvious flirting. Yet here you are, his ex-girlfriend. So either he’s flirting with you to be cruel, or maybe he’s interested in you again… in one way or another.
Conversely, is he leaning the other way when you talk to him? Does he seem distracted or does he look around, scanning the rest of the room during the conversation? These are signs that he is looking to escape. Especially telling is when your ex boyfriend nods and says “yes” a lot. If he’s interested, he’ll involve you in what you’re saying and he’ll ask you questions so you can expand on it. If he’s not interested, he won’t.
Your ex starts to be very available
This is one of the biggest signs that your ex boyfriend might want you back. It will happen when he wants to meet you or talk to you, but he doesn’t want him to look like he did it on purpose. He will start appearing in your social circles. Hang out in places he knows you’re going to be. He basically wants to see you, but he’s also being dumb, like seeing you isn’t his intention at all.
Some guys will do this to spy on their ex-girlfriends, and that’s okay. If he’s trying to find out what you’re up to or who you’re dating, it’s probably because he’s afraid you’ll meet someone else. This is a very good indication that your ex boyfriend still wants you “close”, in case he changes his mind and wants you back. Otherwise, he wouldn’t care so much about what you were doing.
He texts you after a long period of no contact
When that text unexpectedly shows up out of left field, it’s because you caught him at a vulnerable moment. Your ex misses you. And not just a little, but I miss you enough to get to you.
You’ve probably texted each other thousands of times, but no text is as important as this one. While it doesn’t necessarily mean that your boyfriend wants to get back together tomorrow, it’s a great indication that you have some kind of influence over him, after all this time.
If he texts you like that, text him back. Keep it simple, keep it fast. Don’t overcommit, no matter what he says. Even if he tells you that he misses you, you have to keep your feelings in check by staying one step back from whatever level he’s at.
Your ex starts talking to your friends (or family)
When this happens, your ex is going through some things. First, he wants to know where he stands. Maybe he’s fishing to see if you’re still single, or you met someone else and are already dating him. Or maybe he’s just checking how you feel about the breakup.
You’re sad? Depressed? These things will show up. That’s why you always want to put on your best game face, even to family and friends, when it comes to how you’re handling the break. You want your ex boyfriend to hear things like, “Yeah, he’s doing great!” every time he talks to your friends. This will not only make him a little jealous (that you’re having fun without him), but it will also make him start to wonder if letting you go was the right move.
Now if he is talking to your family? That means a little more. It shows that your ex he still cares what his family thinks of him. And a guy would only care about this if, somewhere in his head, he still sees himself with you again at some point in the future.
Your ex boyfriend asks you if you want to meet him
When does he really miss you? Your ex might ask to see you again. He’ll probably dismiss it as completely innocent; maybe coffee or something, or maybe he makes some excuse to see you, like he has to pick up something he left at your house.
When this call comes, agree to meet him, but don’t be TOO available. You may want to decline the first suggested time/place with “Sorry, I’m busy that day” and then accept his alternative. Whatever you do, don’t question the motives. Just keep going.
Upon meeting him, you will want to let your ex do the talking most of the time. Listen to what he says: he might even blurt out the real reason for the breakup (it’s not always what he said it was). Also, examine his body language. Look for signs of closeness and familiarity, because those signs will be great indicators that he is almost ready for a reconciliation.
Don’t pry and don’t talk about anything heavy like the fight or whatever led to the end of your relationship. Talk about small things, be light-hearted, and try to make him feel comfortable seeing you. Basically, it eliminates any discomfort. He wants it to fall back into the familiar place it was when they were dating and completely safe with each other.
