To keep romance alive and nurture intimacy in your marriage, you will want to learn about several ways to express your feelings to your spouse. Certainly, there are times when you’ll want to put a significant amount of time and energy into a project that shows your love for your spouse in an important way, like planning a surprise birthday dinner that includes family and friends or a new deck. that you spend several weekends building.
But it is also important that you know a series of small gestures that you can do to convey feelings of love frequently. Little expressions of love and appreciation add up over time and can help ensure that your relationship maintains its special sparkle and shine.
Here are fifteen ways to say “I love you” that you can easily implement even during a busy work week:
1. Blow your spouse a kiss as you walk across the room. Smile and let your eyes shine mischievously. You can remain silent or you could say something like “Catch!” or “This is for you!”
2. Surprise your spouse by kissing the back of his neck as you sit in a low-back chair that allows you easy access to his neck, such as a dining room chair or computer chair. (For an added reaction, you can lick his neck once or twice with your tongue after kissing him.)
3. Give her (or him) a brief neck and shoulder massage.
4. Leave a sweet message on your voicemail.
5. Send a short but nice email. (Do not send your spouse a sexually explicit email at work. Save it for your personal email account.)
6. Write a one-sentence note that describes a specific trait or quality that you love about your spouse, such as “I love her beautiful blue eyes that remind me of the sea.” Or you could write, “I love the fabulous muscles in your shoulders that make you look so strong and sexy.” Put this note in your spouse’s purse, lunch or briefcase, or on your bed pillow.
7. Give your spouse a long, wet kiss, accompanied by a full-length hug. (Many relationship gurus advocate that couples do this at least once a day.)
8. Hug your spouse and scratch his back at the same time. If you’re lucky, your spouse will scratch your back, too, while you scratch hers.
9. Compliment your spouse. Be specific, like “You look great in that new sweater, I love how that color looks on you!”
10. Tell your spouse one time something specific that you appreciate him (or her) doing. For example, you might say, “I really appreciate how hard you work to generate additional income” or “You are a great parent, always so patient with children!”
11. When you’re at the grocery store, buy something special for your spouse: a favorite chocolate bar, a select fruit, a small plant, a long-stemmed rose, a special cheese, a festive balloon, and so on. When you get home, say “I bought something special just for you because you are so special.” Or wait until later and leave the article with an “I love you” note for her (or him) to find.
12. Find some little act or task that you can do for your spouse to make life easier for him. For example, without asking, Lee often empties my office trash when he sees that it is full. Or you could offer to make a phone call to save you time on a busy day. These types of gestures say “I love you and I want to show you that I care.”
13. The next time you have to buy a birthday card for someone, also buy five or six cards that your spouse would like. They can be romantic cards, thoughts on you cards, or fun cards. Once a week or two, mail one to your spouse to come to the office or home, or leave a card in the car in the driver’s seat or some other place for them to find.
14. When you get take-home food containers from a restaurant, then secretly remove your spouse’s container from the refrigerator and decorate it. You can draw two hearts joined with their names on the hearts and write “I love you” in their box.
15. Look for poems or song lyrics that you can give to your spouse to communicate your loving feelings. Check out the large selection of love song lyrics at http://www.theromantic.com/lovesongs/main.htm. Just print out some of your favorites (use special paper to make it more special) and put them away, ready to take out and give to your spouse with a note that says, “This expresses how I feel about you.”
