Lupita Nyong’o delivered a speech at an awards ceremony that has been spread through social media and other ways to reach many people around the world. This speech is often captioned as being a “black beauty” speech. I think to label it as such is to miss the most important point that she was trying to make in that speech. The speech was clearly about finding inner beauty before appreciating the outer beauty of who you are. While her personal story surrounds her dark skin color, the point was much deeper.
While I may write more about this speech in the future, I wanted to focus on a statement that you made during this speech. He made reference to what he called “the seduction of insufficiency.” For anyone struggling with insufficiency in their personal life, this statement should be somewhat jarring as it finds a place to settle beyond their ears and embedded somewhere in their subconscious. I know it had that effect on me.
The seduction of inadequacy addresses the temptation one may have to embrace inadequacy. We do this for a number of reasons. One is that it is easier to accept as a conclusion than simply as a statement of an actual condition. Another is that one may be afraid of the truth behind this lie that we tell ourselves. And, of course, it could be that we don’t want to do the work necessary to overcome the insufficiency or show that it is, in fact, a lie.
I say that it may be easier to accept a feeling of inadequacy because it does not require more work on our part. As Robert Kiyosaki says in the book Rich Dad / Poor Dad, poor people tell themselves, when faced with a purchase that exceeds their means, that they cannot afford the purchase. He said his rich dad taught him to ask the question, “How can I afford this?” The latter demands something from your subconscious and that is an additional consideration. The first statement from I can’t afford it is a conclusion and requires no further reaction from your self-conscious.
Another reason to accept inadequacy is because we fear the truth. The truth may be that we have some real deficiencies in our life. We’ll get to that shortly, but in some cases our shortcomings are a comfortable crutch on which we rest. For example, I tell a story of how I met a gentleman who told me that he was not in his chosen career because he did not have a college degree. When I told him that I was in that position without a degree, I presented him with an uncomfortable truth. Suddenly, she had to at least consider that her lack of a title wasn’t the only reason she was in her current job far from where she said she really wanted to be.
Now, as stated above, we may have some real challenges that are preventing us from achieving the level of success that we desire. Not enough money. There is not enough education. Raised in a single parent home. Being a minority. Be a woman (or a man) depending on the company. Some things that we can do nothing about, but we always have the option of succumbing or not to the seduction of inadequacy in our lives. In some cases we can overcome the deficiencies. One is to take a different point of view about it. What I mean by that is not to see it as an insufficiency that hinders us, but simply as a challenge to overcome. Instead of saying what you don’t have, ask yourself how you can work with what you have. You can also think about how you can get around the need for what you are missing all together.
This brings me to the last point which is that sometimes we don’t want to do the work necessary to overcome the insufficiency in our lives. The necessary work could mean many things, but no matter what it costs, it is more work than simply accepting our shortcomings. One of the best examples I can think of is Muggsy Bogues, who played basketball in the NBA. He is 5’3 “tall and is listed as the shortest man to ever play basketball professionally in the NBA. While being tall is generally considered a requirement to play this sport at a high level, he was able to stand out despite not only being devoid of That trait but being the antithesis of it. From his skills, it’s clear that he was willing to put in the effort to be a great player. Not only that, he had to overcome many naysayers in the process.
Lupita Nyong’o recognized the lure of inadequacy in her own life and we have a job to do the same in our respective lives. We can overcome any obstacle if we are willing to persevere. It will take some effort and some imagination on our part, but it can be done. We may also have to change our personal perception from that of a person who cannot do it to that of a person who can. So don’t let yourself be seduced by your own inadequacies, rather let yourself be seduced by the ability that God has given you to do what you have in your heart to do.
Let’s work together on your success.
Kelly marianno
