The 2010 US Federal Census showed that 15 million children are raised without a father and 5 million more are raised without a mother. Twenty million children! To the detriment of our country and its children, we are seeing the results of so many orphaned children on the nightly news.
As previous owners of a number one rated restaurant, we have seen these results first hand; kids with no manners, kids making the decisions for the adults at the table, public tantrums, and the list goes on.
A Fox News article showed that without the benefit of a stable father in the home, the daughters of these families were sadly missing out on a fatherly influence to show them how to become decent young women. Additionally, her research showed that fatherless girls were highly susceptible to:
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Lack of self-control.
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Outward displays of anger and belligerence.
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Seeking an emotional connection, they tended to become sexually promiscuous.
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Become vulnerable to sexual exploitation by predators who seek to satisfy their emotional needs. Girls whose biological parents are missing often seek the unconditional love and words of encouragement their parents might have given them.
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Multiple marriages.
Sigmund Freud said, “I can’t think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”
Without the influence of a loving father, an abandoned girl is also more likely to:
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Engage in school and neighborhood violence.
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Being prone to suicide.
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drinking
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get high
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Leave our school.
Yes, there are plenty of brave single moms out there raising wonderful, contributing daughters, but the odds are not good.
Fatherless daughters suffer terribly from low self-esteem. Without her father’s comfort, she experiences far-reaching consequences for abandoning her. She begins to look for that “OK” signal from children, who may not have her best interests at heart.
“The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as a man who created a son and then, by his absence, left the son without a father and then without God.” Anais Nin.
The best thing we can teach our daughters is found in the Bible. It is the God-given responsibility of the father to give wisdom and guidance to his beloved daughter. Proverbs 22:6″Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he (she) is older, he (she) will stay on it.”
Normally, a caring father would teach his daughter how to recognize a good man and ignore men who would be her downfall. By doing this, the father strengthens family ties and prevents family dysfunction. The role of a father in the family is vital.
In describing what a good man is, 1 Timothy 3:2-5 A good man is one whose life cannot be spoken against. He must have only one wife, and he must be hard-working and thoughtful, orderly and full of good deeds. He must enjoy having guests in his house and he must be a good Bible teacher. He must not be a drinker or a brawler, but he must be meek and kind, and not a lover of money. (excluding everything else). She must have a well-educated family, with children who obey quickly and quietly.”
In a fatherless home it now becomes the mother’s appointment to hold down a job, raise her daughter with good values, teach her about God, and give her good advice and direction. This is difficult at the best of times. America needs its parents to step up and be held accountable.
Family dysfunction often begins with the absence of the biological father. I had one, my mom had one and her mom had one. The actions of all these paternal relatives of mine have harmed the women in my family. You can see that family dysfunction has run wild for generations. Whether due to alcoholism or a parent’s infidelity, these missing parents produced a daughter in pain.
Let me leave you with these uplifting recipes for healing.
- Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. (Which means that there is more to a good life than the charm and beauty of a woman)
- Psalm 46:5 God is in her midst; she will not be moved; God will help her when she wakes up. (Whether dad is around or not, a woman always has a loving God to turn to.)
- 1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you because of your youth, but set an example for believers in word, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
- A mother’s treasure is her daughter. Catalina Pulpofer
- Good daughters are good mothers. Abagail G. Whittlesey
- A busy mother makes lazy daughters. Portuguese proverb
God loves you and will help you heal your orphaned daughter.
