As you start reading this article, appreciate the contradiction. How can I write an article titled “Don’t Give Advice” without seeming to give advice on that topic? Can’t. Wow, this was the shortest article I’ve ever written.
How about a proposition, a statement of my opinion, with a couple of examples to support that opinion? Therefore, unless you are an expert in a particular subject, have training, hold degrees or certificates attesting to that training, and have hands-on experience, I would suggest that you “should not give advice outside of that subject area.” This is a low risk legal guide. But, you may have legitimately useful advice for others, even if you don’t have any fancy training or certificates.
Writing about this topic is therapy for me. I wrestle with the idea of not mentoring adult members of my family, my friends, and (everyone else, as readers of my articles). I want all of you to benefit from my experiences. Unfortunately, I have learned that my noble intention often does not produce a predictable result. My advice or suggestions to family and friends (about moral issues, finances, jobs, and raising a family) have fallen short or even failed. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, that I am guilty of a miserable outcome. Maybe I shouldn’t have given the advice in the first place.
A saying in the US Army: “If you break it, it belongs to you.” In this case, by giving a tip that someone else used, I kind of own the breakage that occurs, even though I warned them that “this is their decision.” Do you see that giving advice is an enigma, a difficult task? Why is that? Simple answer: Adults, even those close to you, have to make their own decisions, and they make them based on their current age and level of experience.
They tend to get their advice by peer association. If you’re older, and even if they agree you’re wise, your advice sounds like “the answer” to them, and they may take your advice and use it without understanding it. So it’s your fault (in their mind) if your advice doesn’t work for them. Someone you love can tell you: “You gave me bad advice,which means, “Your advice sucks, man!” Ouch! All you wanted to do was help them.
Web search Colossians 2:4-15. The Christian apostle Paul, in a Roman prison, received news from a member of one of the Christian churches that Paul founded, that “the membership is well ordered, but those who would deceive the Christians are also there.” By letter, Paul guided Christians, saying, “He is with them in spirit, if not in body (for he is in jail).” He reminded them of the big picture (they were saved by their faith in Jesus Christ), that there is no other authority in Heaven or on Earth (Matthew 28:18).
So don’t give advice. Identify the authority and responsibility under that authority. That being said, any individual should understand what (big picture) is the right thing to do and why. The advice is about What do something, and the how varies. It is not your business to advise another person on What anything is done
