Take note of these 3 sentences. I used to share the following phrases with my friends…
[1] “True love is long-suffering, patient, understanding and faithful in the awakening of the other’s love”
[2] “True love knows no barriers, challenges, flaws and is always forgiving and forgetting…”
[3] ‘Give your heart to one, but your smiles to all.’
This is to be expected between husband and wife partnerships. Fostering a relationship and maintaining it takes skills to do so. It is very important that one stay faithful to each other. It is a comforting feeling that the presence of children will always cement the relationships between parents.
One should not regret a choice they made in marriage. It is predestined that the two come together to have a new offspring. Marriage is not buying a suit and after getting bored with it, throwing it away and buying a new one. If you have made the vow or choice, never regret it. It is a decision made to last or else this world will be in chaos.
Knowing that a suit can fade and tear, it is the same for all ladies and gentlemen. No one will stay at 18 forever and no one is wise enough to choose a perfect option when in love. Love isn’t built on beds of roses, it’s not just milk and honey… or forever darling, okay? The union of 2 people who come from 2 different worlds face many realities of life when they begin to live together.
[4] ‘Tolerance, patience, persistence, interdependence, trust, openness, win-win situations are attributes that can build a relationship, and the question is ‘Are you willing to make it work?’
My mentor used to joke… in this love business, one always starts from a stranger to a friend and then to lovers, but after marriage, it becomes the opposite. Now it’s to lovers, cold friends, then to strangers… which eventually leads to breakups. Why is it always like this? What has gone wrong? When one is in love, each one can sacrifice almost anything to win the other’s love, but now it is the opposite.
Does familiarity breed contempt? Bored? Did you discover something? Not willing to change? Too sophisticated? Stagnant/outdated relationship? Language barrier? Body barrier? Is one falling behind? Discrimination? Too attached? Too much dependency? Without money, I do not speak? someone is sexier? Third part? Love problems? Health problems? Lack of sexual desire? No consolation? Too insensitive? Too innocent? Without eleectricity? Their defects? His bad temper? Without brain? the lists will be too long to write…
I have met many women in emotional distress, and I did not even dare to speak about their failure in their love and family life, about fading love, about being cheated on, about being abandoned, about being left cold, about being sandwiched among other. lover, loss of interest in sexual life and poor health. Most of these women suffered in silence and seemed to accumulate all these negative aspects in their hearts and minds. These women are sometimes so stressed that they take out their anger on their own children. Imagine, physically hurting or hurling hurtful comments at young children, at your own children, and regretting it later. We call that child abuse, this is not a new problem right?
How many more pitiful spectacles should one listen to or see? How distressing is it to see these women being provoked and unable to control their anger and hatred? The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, have you heard this phrase? Young people will be indirectly influenced by a bad temper and will be mistreated with abusive, harsh and meaningless words. That is why the morality of the modern world has been corrupted due to the inappropriate upbringing of distraught mothers and servants or amahs with whom their children grew up. Instead of their own mothers, they grow up with Indonesian maids, or amahs, eventually speaking and thinking like one…
The emotional balance for a wife or a mother is too important in structuring or influencing our next generations. So again it goes back to a happy family where the parents need to be on good terms with each other. Parents should show good examples and lead the way to true happiness. Separations or divorces will be too painful for each and every one of those concerned.
[5] Treat this relationship as a journey rather than a destination… We all start from budding strangers to friends, then lovers, then parents, grandparents and even lying next to each other when cold and lifeless… companions for this life and eternity. Have you ever thought? It has been predestined as I have said.
I met a wise old man who told me this. “Husband and wife is one life!” This single sentence awakens in me a reality, an understanding that I never thought it would be. This awakening becomes my answer to my problems… I came to understand that ‘what is yours is also mine, what is mine is also yours…’, your problems are also mine, your mistakes or successes are also mine. There is no escape. Never think about fair or not fair…
[6] Yeah, there’s no escaping fair or unfair, or who gets the most work or whatever….. Another wise old man also told me that if one demands justice in this matter of yours he loves me, then I love you, you give, so I also give; you work, I work… there will never be peace. Where is JUSTICE? Justice cannot be applied in ‘equal rights for men or women!’ The more you fight, the more damage it will bring… the more suffering there will be…
The love of this husband and wife is a selfish love, but without it, there will be chaos. A perfect love between the spouses will be demonstrated when and where no third party can interfere or come between them. Will an imperfect love allow a third party to interrupt or is it an excuse for some? .
[7] The power of love and sex should never be underestimated. He has moved mountains and created stories of countless victories and failures. Many heroes still fall at the feet of beauties, lose fame, families, and fail in their missions. Too many heroes and heroines are drawn to outer beauty, not inner beauty. Too many heroes and heroines preferred to be drawn into the fantasies and wonders of forbidden love. The forbidden fruit too delicious to avoid. What can we do? Samson, the strongest man, also fell to ruin. He repented and said. “One night’s sensual pleasure is not worth life imprisonment and death was the punishment!” It wasn’t just a story.
Who are we to say that they are wrong? Who are we to say they shouldn’t or can’t do this or that? But it is written in the 10 commandments that we must not commit adultery. Not only the Bible, but also wise teachings. A strong marriage is only strong when both spouses agree to keep it as an everlasting bond, otherwise the separation is too easy. And how many people are actually willing to work hard to keep the marriage going? How many people are patient enough to wait for the awakening of each other’s love?
[8] Taking into account that all humans have weaknesses. To err is human, to forgive divine. To make mistakes or not… sometimes this passion or love thing is too complicated to explain or express. For the sake of family happiness and togetherness, all problems must be resolved. For LOVE, for the children and for our parents too…..
