Is it time you started dating? Have you been out of the dating stream for a while? How will you know when it is ready?
Take a look at this readiness quiz and score from one to ten in each area. Begin your questionnaire by saying the following:
I’ll know when you’re ready for a great love life, available to meet interesting people you might want to consider for a future long-term relationship when:
1. I have a support network.
I have friends and family who love me and support my efforts. (I don’t have a house full of free people. I have appropriate boundaries with negative family members. I don’t encourage or tolerate people in my life who aren’t kind to me.)
2. I have cleaned up my past relationships.
Better known as “baggage,” old relationships that were ended but must be left no longer haunt my life. I finished my divorce, said goodbye to my old lover, made peace with my parents, and closed relationships that no longer serve me.
3. I have a professional future.
I am committed to a job or realistic studies or plans that contribute to my professional future. I get along well with my co-workers. (I’m not lying on the couch, watching TV all day, waiting for opportunities or jobs to knock on my door.)
4. I am open to new and healthy adventures.
Since love life is a great adventure, I am open to what awaits me. I have my own set of rules and parameters of what is okay and what is not, but I am willing to consider new activities. (I’m not planning on bungee jumping from the Brooklyn Bridge, but I’m definitely willing to go to a new museum, concert, city, park, restaurant, street fair, etc.)
5. I contribute positively to someone’s life.
I do something nice for someone at least once a day. (Besides feeding the dog).
6. I am healthy in mind, body and spirit.
I am addiction free, I have a weekly exercise routine, I watch what I eat, and I am generally optimistic about life. I am not afraid to say that I need help if I have problems in those areas.
7. I am loyal and trustworthy.
I am known for keeping my word and handling my agreements. I don’t say one thing and do another. My friends, neighbors and family know that they can count on me.
8. I am responsible for my finances.
I am good at budgeting and living within my income. If I am not satisfied with the amount of money I make, I also know how to create what I need.
9. I have a strong single life.
I’m not looking for someone to make my miserable life happy. I have people, activities, hobbies, and work that I love. I wouldn’t mind sharing my life with someone wonderful, but I am whole on my own.
10. I know what I want.
I have learned from past relationships and experiences that I have some very definite requirements for my life to be happy. I know that if I commit to those requirements, I will not be the person I need to be. I know what my values, requirements and visions are for my life.
Give yourself a score of one to ten in each of these categories. The areas with the lowest scores are the ones you need to work on. As you work on your challenging areas, take a look at your strengths and celebrate them. These are the strengths that you bring to your love life.
If you score higher than 80, you’re good to go with ease. If you get between 80 and 50, you need to take dating in stride while working on your life.
If your score is below 50, take a break from dating and focus on which category you can improve on. When you grow strong in one area, several others will improve at the same time.
Your love life is waiting for you.
