“Perfection is the enemy of success”
“What’s really difficult, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and starting the work of becoming yourself.”
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can achieve it; perfection is God’s business.”
“When you strive for perfection, you shoot yourself in the foot from the start. You have set yourself a goal that is unattainable … Perfection prevents you from reaching your true potential.”
“Some of us (perfectionists, especially) worry a lot about making the ‘right’ decision, but in life, all it really takes is making any ‘good’ decision, believing in it, moving on and accepting the consequences. .. “
-Perfection quotes from various people
As most of you know, I started a blog over a month ago. The blog is about “how to start life again.”
For too long I have known what to do to earn more money, have better relationships, and even look and feel energetic and healthy. Notice I said “should”. As Tony Robbins says, “I should be on myself.” Boy, did I ever.
Consequently, my life felt like a mess. I lost the big house in the water, the multi-million dollar company. My clothes didn’t fit, I was so out of shape. I ate like shit and drank too much. Although he had an intellectual understanding of what he had to do to get out of this huge nosedive, he was immobilized.
Why? I think it had a lot to do with my obsession with perfection. Or at least my misconception that perfection was actually achievable. I must confess at first that the Type A personality served me well. I was a top salesperson everywhere I went. You could take ideas and turn them into reality with a lot of work. I fed on the naysayers. My obsession with perfection provided me with the fuel I needed when the odds seemed stacked against me.
But eventually, as a superpower with a horrible side effect, the gift became the curse.
It got to the point where he was making more money than 99% of the American population. However, I was not satisfied. I sure didn’t stop to smell the roses. On paper he had it all, but he was pretty miserable. He sure wasn’t as grateful as he should have been. He had an attitude of expectation. Have you ever felt like this?
This led to a prolonged but spectacular fall from grace.
One day I said, “That’s it. NO more.”
After finally feeling like I HAD to change, I MUST change and I WILL CHANGE. I had a huge obstacle to overcome and it resided between my ears. It was the idea that things had to be perfect to begin with.
I rationalized that I couldn’t start going to the gym until I got back from vacation. I can’t start the diet until I eat the junk food that I already bought. Why start a new business when it could be the wrong time or place?
The story he was telling me was easy to justify because, honestly, how could things or circumstances be perfect?
The idea that everything must be perfect before starting something new is a success killer. When the moon and stars align, everything will be perfect. Then I’ll start. Guess what Copernicus? That day will not come. The beauty that I will start tomorrow is that tomorrow NEVER comes. It is always the next day. The only thing we are guaranteed is NOW. Today.
Expecting perfection leads to procrastination. That is a guarantee.
“You don’t have to get it right, you just have to make it work,” says success coach Mike Litman.
He says it all the time. He is also right.
Perfection IS the lowest standard of all.
Since I started my blog, I have been keeping track of all my workouts. I methodically write down every calorie, carbohydrate, and gram of protein. I stayed away from eating out. Morning runs and yoga. I focused on my relationships with an eagle eye. I focused on myself and my actions and stopped blaming others. Things were going great for almost a month and then I came home from vacation.
Uh oh.
To be fair, I still exercised a few times, ate relatively well, and reconnected with some very good friends.
To be fair, I also deviated from my plan outlined on my blog.
Guess what? My first day back, my girlfriend and I appeared on the P90x DVD. I started keeping a journal and keeping track of all my calories. I practically picked up where I left off.
But I felt guilty. I had not stuck to my diet. I missed training. For a moment I really felt guilty. He had let everyone down. I was not perfect.
But you know what? It is right. I had a mini vacation and could have said, “Ahhh, heck. I didn’t make it. I didn’t deliver.” So I had an easy way out to quit smoking. It could go back to the old way. You know the old way, the way it didn’t work.
Shit.
Life is not about bowling on a 300 or hitting a hole in one. It’s about doing your best. It’s not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. Once I stopped thinking that I had to be perfect, it was like a great weight was lifted from me. It’s okay to have a cheat day. I gave myself permission to be human.
Perfection is the LOWEST standard because unless your name is Jesus Christ, it won’t happen. Sorry Charlie. You are setting yourself up for failure. Why not adapt the rules to the game of life so that you can win? Why not take a break from time to time?
Please don’t mistake this as an excuse to lower your standards. Don’t think I’m saying drop your goals to be a great husband / wife / son / brother / employee / boss / neighbor / teammate / accountant, etc. Raise your standards. Choose great role models and mentors. Use a proven set of strategies or principles to achieve your goals. Of course, shoot for the stars! Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. BE FEATURED!
But if you don’t score 1600 on your SAT, don’t cry on your cornflakes.
Don’t think you need to be perfect. It is the lowest possible standard because it is not humanly possible. It also gives you an easy way out to quit smoking and fuels permanent procrastination.
Michael Jordan was arguably the best basketball player we’ve seen, but he was hardly perfect.
“I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to make the game winning shot and I have missed. I have missed time and time again in my life. And that’s why that I am successful “, Michael Jordan.
There is something to be said for someone who continually “pops up.” How much better do you feel after finishing your workout, even after your brain has provided you with a host of excuses to skip the workout? You feel great, don’t you? Even a mediocre workout feels so much better than skipping it all together, doesn’t it?
“You don’t have to do it right, you just have to make it work.”
Take off your butt. Make it happen. Be the change you want to see in your life. Ask for help. Maybe get a workout or a personal trainer. If something doesn’t work, try something else. If that doesn’t work, try something else. Keep trying different things until you find what works.
But for your sake and for those around you, give yourself a break if you are not perfect.
The law of motion is a powerful force. Moving objects (as if you are heading towards your targets) tend to stay in motion. On the contrary, your butt planted on the couch will likely stay there and take root.
Celebrate if you get an all-in-one! Hell, send me a picture of you standing by the pin with a big smile on your face. But don’t complain and complain at every hole because you are not playing like Tiger Woods. Speaking of Tiger, it seems obvious now, although he was an outstanding golfer, he was clearly far from perfect.
You have the potential for greatness within you. The only person who can remove that is the person you see in the mirror. The story you tell yourself has a powerful effect on your motivation or ability to keep going.
Your standards should be outstanding, but allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself a pat on the back. Look into your eyes in your mirror and say, “I love you.” Heck, while you’re at it, why not go ahead and forgive yourself for times in the past when you weren’t perfect?
It’s incredibly powerful and you might even stop expecting those around you to be perfect too.
But that’s a topic for another article.
For your success!
