What do women want? This question has plagued the mind of man since the dawn of man, but the answer is not as complicated as it seems.
In any relationship, or in any dynamic between two human beings, one of the parties involved always cares less than the other. It’s never a 50/50 split, even if you think it is.
If your wife left you, it’s because you cared more. Directly. Now, I’m not saying that you should stop worrying about the woman in your life. This is not what I am saying at all, in fact, for any relationship to be healthy, love and trust must be at the base. But you must remember that you are a man, and for a man to stay with the woman he loves, he must CONTINUE TO BE A MAN.
But what is a man? If you think a man is someone who graces the cover of Gucci magazine with jet black eyebrows, a six pack, and a stern look in his eyes, then you are a victim of social conditioning and will never keep a woman around.
A woman doesn’t want you to make her the center of your life. The sentence is so important that you should go back and read it a second time, a third time, maybe even a fourth time. It is the cornerstone of manhood and the ultimate secret to building a strong long-term relationship.
I know what you’re thinking: “I made the soccer game the most important thing today, and my girlfriend started yelling at me, how could this be true?”
A woman will always try to fight her in the moment. She is a woman. You love to dance with emotion, even if that emotion is negative, as you sit, you are living. She will also try to turn your life into hell sometimes feeling all this excitement, but your job as a man is to make something else the center of your life so that you can stay stable. That’s all you want in the end. So that you stay stable while she dances with excitement. Many men say “women are crazy, they are never logical, why can’t they just be normal?” My answer is always the same, “then go date a man!” Because women will never change. The moment you accept that women will always be emotional, and that’s the way they are, that’s the moment you start living your life as a man. You stop judging him, you stop criticizing him, and instead of trying to make her happy all the time, you keep living your life and she can accompany her.
So what should be at the center of your life? I suggest a life purpose, a great goal, a dedication to endless self improvement. That does not mean that you should dedicate everything to your goal and forget your woman, instead, if you have a purpose in your life, then her emotional dance will not derail you. But she will try to get you off her. It is important to know. She will constantly test you and prod you to see if you really are made of that substance called virility.
I know all of this is easier said than done. But here are FOUR TIPS to help you in the search for your lost manhood.
Pick a goal, any goal: Stop waiting for the lightning to strike your mind and for your being to ignite in some sacred purpose. This will never happen. Just pick a goal and start working toward it, no matter what it is. I don’t care if it’s to learn to be a master canine groomer. Any path that focuses your thoughts and actions is enough to align you with manhood and for your woman to start respecting you again.
When she goes crazy, relax: The worst thing you can do as a man is fall into the emotional dance with her. She doesn’t want you to get into her emotional whirlwind because then both of you will be swept downstream without a paddle. He wants to dance and he wants you to keep the boat stable. The next time you start to get excited, just relax and enjoy it for what it is, which is an emotional creature.
Let me miss you: Don’t text, call and see her constantly. Give the gift of missing you sometimes. I would also add the point of not being naked in front of her all the time. After sex, many guys just walk around the house naked, and then constantly show off. It’s great to be confident with your twig and berries, but you want to leave a bit of mystery in the relationship.
Leave the ego: You are a normal human being. I know you might think that your problems are unique, but they are not. If your wife has a genuine problem to discuss with you, listen to her. Leave your ego at the door and abandon the need to be right, because it is a difficult battle to win against emotion. As Tyler Durden once said, “You are not a unique snowflake.”
Women are not complicated. They get complicated when we keep making them logical and rational beings. But this is not what women are. Women are amazing, emotional and beautiful and just plain fun. So stop trying to put them in a box and start living your goals. The moment you make your goals the most important thing, the woman in your life will start to smile a lot more and unpack that suitcase.
Appearance,
Saxon
