A mass marriage usually means an affair for either spouse, which doesn’t have to be the case in many cases. A marriage becomes crowded when there is an external factor that intrudes on the couple’s privacy. This factor could be interfering with the in-laws on both sides or it could be an obsessive preoccupation with work (overly ambitious or workaholic) or it could be simple indifference. Very often it is the apathy on the part of both spouses and their lack of investment of time in the relationship that explains an invisible presence responsible for the failure of a marriage.
Vijayan and Madhavi is a newly married couple who lives with their parents. Madhavi is annoyed that Vijayan comes home late every day and complains that he prefers to spend more time with her parents than with her.
She complains, “His excuse is that before marriage he hadn’t spent enough time with his parents because of work. If that was the case, why did he want to get married? He should have spent his time with his parents instead of getting married and neglecting his parents.” their parents”. me.” She has a point.
Vijayan’s apprehension is that his parents will feel abandoned if he spends time alone with her. While her fears are appreciated, Vijayan must realize that his newlywed wife needs privacy and attention during the initial stage. This does not mean having a separate bedroom. She needs to feel safe and loved and that means spending more time without distractions.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two unrelated persons united except by marriage. So the relationship is definitely more special and should be given that important place. This does not mean that you have to relegate other relationships to the background. It is about the sanctity of marriage and by extension the wife who automatically comes first by virtue of the godliness of the relationship.
Rajeev and Latha are successful in their respective careers. They are a safe couple. But both are unhappy. The reason is that their busy careers are driving them away from each other. When Rajeev is in town, Latha is out on a project and vice versa. They both have no time to spend with each other and their respective work takes precedence over everything else. Both are reluctant to give up their lucrative careers. Work has made her marriage too overloaded to exclude everything else in her life, including having children. So much so that they have reached a point of no return.
While it is important to have a successful career, it is equally, if not more, important to have a fruitful married life. If the couple had decided not to have children, it would not have been a problem. However, they both want children but don’t want to sacrifice their careers to plan a child. The biggest stress factor in having a child takes its toll on them and proves otherwise.
Now what do you want? They have to make a choice. Rajeev and Latha need to make a choice, and that choice may require a great sacrifice on one or both sides. The question is: are they willing to go the extra mile?
To avoid overcrowding it is imperative to provide space in the marriage. It’s not about having a bedroom of your own or being indifferent leading parallel lives, it’s about giving space for both of you to grow independently and also inclusively so that the relationship becomes something wonderful to cherish. A relationship for posterity, after all, that’s what marriage is all about: a lifelong commitment!
