The topic of kissing, or actually the lack of it, has come up recently in conversations at parties. People were complaining not only about the lack of kissing, but about the rise of bad kissers in recent years. This sent me on a journey to get feedback from other people as to whether they had noticed anything, and the responses were interesting.
Marah Fellicce of Red Bank, New Jersey, said that she, too, has noticed that “the world of kissing has diminished significantly. Kissing can be a wonderful and intimate experience, rivaling the main event in some cases.” She says there is “an over-sensualization of the experience between two people, and a built-in desire to hurry, but what do you expect in an age of instant popcorn?” Franklin Riga, who emphasized the fact that he was a straight man, agrees: “I think maybe kissing is becoming a lost art.”
Romance novelist Kathy Newburn says that kissing is “all sensory, all five, in fact. It will be felt, heard, smelled, seen and tasted, all factors that generate desire and pleasure. So stay and enjoy, and in ultimately practicing mastery of the art of the kiss.”
“Kissing and Cooking for Couples” author Kim Reutzel says she believes “kissing is a way to stay and connect in more ways than one. Touch allows the physical juices to flow creating an experience of soul connection that can rekindle the fire within.
What the Beverly Hills psychiatrist, relationship expert and author of the best-selling book “Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them and When to Leave Them” has to say about the recent decline in kissing, she explains Dr. Carol Leiberman very much. “The decline in kissing is due in part to our ever-increasing ‘to-do’ lists and the steady decline in time.” She goes on to explain how kissing is actually “the most intimate part of a sexual encounter, as each partner’s true feelings are communicated to the other during this act. People can fake feelings during other aspects of sex, relying on the desire to have erections.” or even orgasms. But they can’t fake how they really feel towards their partner during a kiss. Men and women are increasingly afraid of intimacy. They don’t want to reveal their true feelings through a kiss because they’re afraid of getting too close and then getting hurt.”
Mary Jo Fay, author of several books on relationships, echoes the thought: “People ARE jumping into sex so fast that they’re missing out on the incredible intimacy, anticipation, and heightened awareness that spending more time kissing and not rushing can provide.” the sex part.”
“For starters, it’s very intimate and bonds you like sex does (at least you’re exchanging bodily fluids),” explains Alison Blackman, editor and writer for AdviceSisters Publications. “Maybe that’s why prostitutes don’t like kissing either. A romantic kiss can mean anything from ‘I like you’ to ‘I adore you’ to ‘I just want hot sex and then I want to forget you’. “It’s an emotionally charged activity. And I think we spend so much time in front of our computer screens that physical connections of all kinds have diminished. It’s not a good thing, but it’s a sign of our times.”
But it’s not just the lack of kisses. The other part of the problem is bad kisses. A woman who asked not to be identified because she doesn’t want to hurt her husband’s feelings said: “I’ve been married almost eight years and from the first month I hate kissing him. He puts his tongue in my mouth and just moves it.” circling like a worm having spasms”.
“It would be nice to kiss to break a deal,” says thrice-married Jessie McCaskill. “Now I know that if someone can’t give themselves to the kiss, they are not naturally sensual people.” Dating expert Mary Jo Fay agrees, saying she believes “bad kisses can be enough to make you NEXT to another person without a moment’s hesitation. Bad kisses usually make me believe the sex won’t be good either.”
Marah Felliccee has even gone so far as to teach kissing classes in the US in New Orleans, Boston and soon New York City. But she is not alone. In fact, you can even go as far as getting a certificate in kissing from sexologist and Loveology University founder Dr. Ava Cadell, who says she’s “made it a priority to educate people about the lost art of kissing.” kiss”. with a certified course.” There’s even an entire website (www.kissing.com) dedicated to teaching people how to be better kissers and the various methods of doing it. “We all love it… but some of us just love it! We don’t know we love it until we’re taught it!” says Portland, Oregon resident Don Clarkson.
Really, the easiest way to improve is to ask someone who is a really good kisser to teach you. And think how much fun that can be.
Perhaps all is not lost. Perhaps instead of being a driving force in the front seat of human sexuality, it has moved to a back seat spot. And it’s conceivable that it hasn’t lost its appeal so much because of the way people think about sex. The kisses went from the hand, to the mouth and now to the genitals. It wasn’t long ago that oral sex was considered something very intimate. Now it’s just another way of showing affection, like kissing was years ago.
But Ann Keeler Evans, the Marriage Examiner columnist for the “Philadelphia Examiner,” doesn’t really think kissing has lost its place in intimacy. She has great respect for it when she stated in one of her recent columns that “kissing is an art form. It’s not the prelude to anything, it’s the culmination. It’s not an appetizer, it’s a dessert! It’s the chocolate soufflé of desserts. It is the fine wine that is savored not only with food but also on its own”.
Kissing will never go out of style. Dating teenagers are a good example of that. But as some of the people interviewed for this article say, couples who have been together for a while seem to lose interest. Ki Mirra of Burlington, Vermont said people “really enjoy the closeness that kissing fosters.”
And certainly, for many people, kissing is a truly unspoken form of communication. Architect Christine Leonard, who has to deal a lot with couples in her business, says that she sees a lot of hello/goodbye kisses between these couples and feels that she can usually “see true love in a kiss.”
Hope springs eternal. For some, kisses sometimes replace more intimate encounters. But for most people it is not something they decide to give up. Just as a good painter always wants to improve, he practices the art as long as it takes to become a master.
Ace McKay, author of “The Marriage Playbook“ says she believes everyone should become a leader “to set the trend for the BIG comeback of kissing” by being willing to show affection for the person they love most, even if it’s in public. In other words, lead by example by being the example.
