It is well documented that the close bond that develops between parents and children is a driving force of life, its legendary power to protect and protect has made history throughout the centuries. One reads of parents rescuing their children from burning cars or sinking boats, finding almost superhuman strength to lift many times their body weight, or surviving underwater for impossible lengths of time to save their child from drowning, and so on. Occasionally this life force becomes distorted and harmful to parents, children, and anyone unlucky enough to be close enough to be affected by the association.
Sometimes dubbed Umbilical Addiction, the most common form of this disorder is in women, the maternal instinct spilling over into an obsessive need to suffocate and control, eventually turning the child into an incapable and over-weaned shadow.
It is possible that this unpleasant condition appears in fathers; commonly the focus is on a daughter but it can appear between fathers and sons. Mothers who develop the obsession with their children tend to side with the son against the father, making it impossible for the father to maintain the usual disciplinary orientation.
The symptoms of the obsession begin early, when the child is a toddler, or even before the child is out of diapers. The mother may go to great lengths to ensure that the child is completely dependent, lavishing unnecessary attention and gifts on the child to ensure devotion and loyalty. Detection and control of this behavior are invariably impossible, as all symptoms are confused with ‘coddling’, an overly simplified and far-fetched expression sometimes applied to a disorder with much less serious implications. The parent is overprotective, alienating other supportive influences that might otherwise have been helpful in controlling the situation.
As the child develops, the features of this terrible condition become more apparent. Interference with the mother’s (or father’s) control results in anger, or even aggression, toward anyone who attempts to intervene in the child’s behavioral difficulties. As the child grows older, early spoiling tactics produce unacceptable acts of rebellion and disobedience, often drawing disapproval from the rest of the family.
The child staggers into adolescence showing alarming behavioral dysfunctions such as stealing, lying, rudeness, and the young adult will always continue to be very close to the same parent who causes the damage.
Elaborate lies can be invented to cover up petty crimes, both by parents and children, until finally, by the time the young adult leaves school and enters the workplace, the offender has become a dangerously obsessed narcissistic psychopath. with the ego Sometimes the situation has festered for such a long period that it is impossible for the child to function without parental approval and support.
In extreme cases, the child’s dependency combined with parental authoritarian control results in an incestuous relationship, as the child is unable to cope with normal interaction with the opposite sex.
Each time the “child” is confronted with authority, even the authority of the offending parent, the reaction becomes more intensely antisocial, until finally the individual develops a strong dislike and active antagonism for most social codes. Throughout most of this adult’s young life, excuses have been found for his theft, lying, idleness, and general delinquency. When evidence is presented to this person that such behavior cannot continue, the result can be dangerously aggressive and sometimes vindictive.
These people commonly show a desire to adopt pets, such as dogs and cats, but are invariably cruel to animals. Possession of such pets gives a person comfort and supplies a need that is the result of having few friends. However, unable to cope with the responsibility, they lash out at the animal when asked to feed it in any way that causes personal discomfort.
The early childhood of these people is the key to behavioral disorders that manifest later in life. The adult cannot bear any responsibility or control, and often their inability to deal with authority and routine leads them to become increasingly antisocial. They are often unable to interact normally with people and choose to work in jobs that do not require social skills. An ideal profession for such a person would be long-distance truck driving, headlight maintenance, or working in very noisy environments that preclude conversation—professions that require long periods of solitude and require little cooperation with colleagues.
Those who have reached adulthood have an ingrained inability to raise their own children. The typical behavior of such a person would be to have children but then treat them poorly, and so the cycle continues. Many families tolerate such people because they believe their behavior is merely eccentric; some even imagine them colorful in some way, someone to “put up with” because, after all, we are all different.
The chaos caused within close family circles by such behavior is unimaginably distressing, especially when the father invents lies to cover up unacceptable behavior, sometimes at the expense of other family members. Often the cycle of deception continues for years, perhaps up to and after the father’s death. Occasionally, the disorder develops into a more sinister condition when the parent, due to death, is no longer able to provide emotional support.
