It has been a complete devastation after learning of your wife’s shocking confession of marital infidelity. The mental and emotional anguish of this has brought you to a new level of anger and jealousy. Your testosterone, adrenaline, and blood pressure levels have risen to new heights, and your life is like a psychological thriller. But countless sleepless nights, anxiety attacks, and bad thoughts are simply no way to live. How can you get past this, or even make the decision to forgive, forget, leave or stay when you can’t get the images of your wife’s betrayal out of your mind? Every time you look at her, you see them together. He is in your place, with your wife, the other half of you. This is obviously a scene you’d rather not repeat. So how do you get these distorted images out of your head?
acceptance
The reality of the matter is that it happened. There’s nothing you can do to deny that it wasn’t. No matter how visual or explicit the images, they were his wife and the other man. The truth is the truth. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask for vivid details. Hopefully, there isn’t any physical evidence to support his dilemma, eg text messages, videos, pictures.
forget about the other man
Moving on would be easier to deal with if the man is not someone you know. In that sense, avoid asking him who the other man was. On the other hand, if he is someone close to you, she should confess it to you. This information will help you make her decision. Whether he is an acquaintance or not, do not make the mistake of comparing yourself to his transgression. It will help you if you think of him as a complete stranger, no matter what he has been to your wife. Yes, this thought process is easier said than done, but it will prove to be effective.
Get your ego in check
As simple as it sounds, think of this man as an ex-boyfriend. After all, if you weren’t your wife’s first love, she already had ex-lovers to compare you to. Also, if the affair was not sexually driven but emotionally driven, the images will be easier to dismiss. Focus on fixing or improving what she said she lacked instead of just the sexual offense.
Eventually he would have to make the decision to leave or stay. If you are viewing this betrayal spiritually, the Bible says that sexual infidelity is the only valid reason for a couple to divorce. But if you decide to stay, you must fight the good fight of faith. Marriage is not to be taken lightly, and neither is divorce. However, it takes a strong and loving man to stay committed after such a tragic event.
