If you are reading this right now, you are probably grieving the loss of someone you love very much. I know that you have lost your lover and I understand that the worst pain imaginable is that the person you love the most tells you that she no longer loves you.
The funny part is, while you’re sitting there with your heart like it’s been ripped out of your chest, people say things like…
* You will get over it.
* He/She was not good for you.
* Go ahead (my personal favourite).
* It’s his/her loss – you were too good for him/her.
What a load of crap! And all of that, just to make you feel better. But let’s be real…
…No one can say anything to make you feel better… Except me. Because I can tell you how to get your ex back!
I know exactly how you can get your ex back. Believe it or not, getting your ex back is a linear process that is very easy to follow, but also very counterintuitive.
We’ll talk about this in a second, but one thing I want to point out is that you’ll find some amazing resources at the end of this article. The complete gender specific game plan to get your ex back is waiting for you. You owe it to yourself to take a look.
Ok, now let me give you some pointers to get you on the right track…
1. Break contact. I’m serious. Reduce or, if possible, break any contact with your ex for about 3-4 weeks. This should be easy, right?… Not really. This will be the most painful advice because, most likely, you will miss them very much and you will never stop wondering what they are doing. Stop calling them, stop emailing, texting, or anything like that. One of the biggest mistakes people make after a breakup is what I call texting terrorism. I’m sure you know what this is, but I also bet you don’t realize that after a breakup, any text, email, or phone call can be too much for your ex. They already had too much telling you that they don’t love you anymore. At this point, it’s best to be okay with the breakup and be completely cool about it.
2. Stop being needed. Always remember this: a hungry dog does not eat! Nobody wants to be near a person in need. It’s hardwired into our brains to align with people who have the highest survival value and stay away from people in need. While it is possible to get your ex to accept you out of pity, it is not what we are trying to achieve here. You want your ex to be attracted to you again, so that he doesn’t feel sorry for you.
3. Get your life back. It’s time to call up your old friends that you’ve probably neglected lately. Do it now. Start having fun in a big way. Please note that this is not good advice. Being happy for yourself is very important if you want to attract people into your life and most importantly get your ex back. Therefore, be sure to put your life in order.
4. Start exercising. When you exercise, endorphins are released within your body, so you will feel much better. It will also make you look better, so you will get a boost in your confidence. Remember: confidence is one of the most attractive traits you can have (every dating advice I’ve read, good or bad, includes this cliché: the power of confidence). But, confidence comes with success while you’ve just been dumped. It won’t be easy, but don’t worry too much. I’m going to give you all the tools you need to be successful, so confidence will happen automatically.
5. Contact your ex. If your ex doesn’t contact you after 4 weeks, you can contact him and have a light conversation. There are a few steps you need to take before contacting your ex. She’ll easily find them in the materials I’ll give her (see resources at the end of this article). Avoid talking about your past relationship. Don’t ask your ex if she’s seeing someone new and don’t brag about how many people you’re sleeping or dating (that’s dumb… only losers brag). Just keep it light while avoiding any argument. Also, stay calm and don’t let them think you’re desperate to see them.
6. Make your next date with your ex emotionally charged. “What?! A date?! My ex won’t even answer my phone calls!”… I can already hear you scream. But it’s okay. You will find a solution for each situation in the materials at the end of this article. I will teach you how to get your ex to return your phone calls and how to get another date. Well, that’s actually the easy part.
Now let me explain what I mean by “emotionally charged.” If you are thinking of doing the old “dinner and movie” I have bad news for you… Why? Because, in doing so, you lose out on the next sociologically proven principle…
Emotionally charged = Bond
This first scenario will not only be boring, but it will also not create a bond or, in our case, a reconnecting experience. A better scenario might be a short roller coaster ride. Plus, taking your ex on a few “mini-dates” could do wonders for your relationship. This creates a “time warp,” so your ex will feel like he’s been with you forever after a short amount of time.
This way, you will eventually be able to spend more time together and have a chance to win them back, if you are prepared and know what to do.
