How do I make my wife love me again? It is a serious question that unfortunately many men have to ask themselves at some point. When you live with someone every day, you quickly learn to read between the lines of what they do and say. There is a definite and undeniable change when a woman begins to stop loving her husband. She will no longer desire the physical closeness that she once had, the words “I love you” will often become a thing of the past and the desire to spend time together, just doing everyday things, she will no longer be there. If you’re a man living in a marriage where this is happening right now, you’re probably wondering where the relationship is headed. You will also want to know if the broken connection between you and the woman you love can be healed. It absolutely can be. Before you give in and decide the relationship can’t be saved, consider the simple things you can do now that will ultimately affect the bond you have with your wife.
Devote time strictly to your marriage
Do you remember when you and your wife first got married? Looking back at that time now you probably realize how simple it all was. In many marriages, both spouses worked for the first few days and then spent their evenings and weekends in mutual activities. As time takes over a marriage, many things can change. This is especially true when the children become part of the family and when one or both embark on a quest to capture the ideal career. There is always a tradeoff when a marriage moves to a new place, and often that tradeoff becomes the close bond the couple once shared. It’s not uncommon for many couples who are one day married to realize that they are no longer lovers or best friends, but now don the hats of co-parents and roommates.
The only way to change this is to put some focused and thoughtful effort into it. If you allow your marriage to continue down the same path as it is now, you and your wife will never regain the loving connection you once had. That is why you should look at this as the most important project of your life. You need to sit down and come up with a plan that allows you the opportunity not only to spend more time alone with your wife, but also to show her what a gift she is to you.
Ask your wife what she needs from you
Most men prefer not to immerse themselves in conversations about emotions and problems in their marriage. However, this is a time when it is imperative if you expect your wife to feel close to you again. This doesn’t have to be an awkward exchange between the two of you, and it doesn’t have to end in an emotional argument. You should approach your wife in a compassionate way with the idea of talking about what is going on in your marriage and what you both want from it.
You need to set the tone for this, so do it at a time when you feel exceptionally strong. Do it in an environment where you won’t be interrupted. You must rely on every ounce of patience and understanding that you have during this discussion and it is important that you listen and be open to any suggestions, critical or not, that your wife shares with you.
Encourage her to tell you how she feels right now about the marriage and about you. Reiterate the fact that you are not trying to start any kind of conflict, but instead are looking for a solution that will enrich your marriage and get it back on a positive and loving path.
Take what you learn from your spouse and use it
If your wife shares with you what she thinks you need to do to contribute more to the happiness of your marriage, try not to get defensive. Instead, see it as a lesson in what you can do to become the husband she needs you to be.
Women, in general, find much comfort and satisfaction in very simple things. Her wife may just need to know that she still loves her. You can show her by verbally telling her how you feel, writing her a heartfelt letter, or even sending her a text in the middle of the day expressing how excited you are to see her.
If your wife’s life is very hectic, consider helping her out by taking on some chores to ease her workload. By cooking dinner from time to time, taking the kids to the park for your wife to have some alone time, or even doing the laundry, you will show your wife that you value her and her time.
Hold her hand longer, gently rub her shoulder when she feels tense, and bring her a surprise gift every once in a while, even if it’s just a carnation in her favorite color. Any small gesture like this speaks volumes about how deeply you appreciate and care about her.
By putting more effort into your marriage, you can effectively change the dynamic so that your wife feels emotionally attached to you again. Don’t see this as a quick fix, but rather as a transition to a more fulfilling marriage for both of you. If you love your wife and marriage is the most important thing to you, take care to prove it to her.
