The new abandonment effect of the swinger couple
The new abandonment effect of the swinger couple is something that challenges many couples taking their first big step into Lifestyle without immediately achieving what they hoped for.
Typical examples of this abandonment effect are:
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Joining a swinger club and then not working up the courage to attend any of their events.
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Arrange a swinger date with another couple who don’t show up.
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Going on a swinger date for the first time with a partner who doesn’t match their profile statements.
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Attending her first swinger party only to leave before it got hot enough. (Very often, couples who do this later claim that they “I waited all night for something to happen, but it never did.” )
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Attending his first swinger party but not being attracted to any of the other guests.
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Finding something else about a swinger date or swinger party that you didn’t like.
You’ll never swing unless you push the swing
Swinging is like most other things in life. If you look for things that are wrong, you can be sure to find them. If you expect everything to be perfect on your first try, it rarely will be, and your most likely reaction will be to not persevere any longer.
The new abandonment effect of the swinger couple the examples listed above are most commonly experienced by two types of people. One are those who, consciously or unconsciously, really wanted to fail the swing. It can be only one partner responsible or sometimes both partners. Either way, on one level or another, there was a desire to get out of his decision to start the swinger lifestyle.
The other type of people are those who really want to enjoy a dynamic lifestyle, but do not have enough patience, tolerance and maturity to recognize that it takes perseverance and some courage to get going.
Ultimately, no amount of counseling or advice can change the inevitable outcome that the first type of couple will experience. They are just not ready to start the swinger lifestyle and one can only suggest that they spend more time listening to each other and learn to accept that swingers can only be right when both of them are 100 percent willing to do it. I like the following swinger lifestyle success tips for the other type of people.
Join a good online swinger dating site.
Anyone who really wants to get started in the swinger lifestyle will need to join an online swinger dating (or adult dating) site. This is certainly the best way to find and meet other swingers, but it’s not enough to just become a member and sit around waiting for the dates and invites to start rolling in. First of all, you will need to put a lot of effort into creating your profile, and to ensure success, you will need to take the initiative to contact other members. The most important thing of all is to persevere in finding it, contacting it and following through on it even when things are not going so well. Ignore disappointments, times when others don’t show up to meetings you host, or times when people you know don’t live up to your expectations.
Getting the most out of swingers parties
It can take a lot of courage to go on a swinger date for the first time, but going to your first swinger party requires even more courage. Even after successfully dealing with pre-party jitters, many people experience even more anxiety within minutes of arriving at an event. If you think about it for a moment, even a friend’s birthday party can sometimes seem a little intimidating when he walks into a room full of strangers.
The way to overcome both your pre-party anxiety and your own party nerves is to understand and accept two things. One is that at any given event there will be plenty of other absolute newcomers. The other is that you will never be the only anxious person and chances are there are many others who are experiencing much worse anxiety than you are.
Making the Most of Swinger Clubs
Joining a swinger club is much like attending a private house party, although some people say they find the idea less daunting. This is actually a false perception because swingers clubs, like all other types of clubs, are dominated by regular customers who can be very clicky. This type of behavior is likely to add an extra layer of social anxiety to events held at clubs compared to those held elsewhere.
The best way for newcomers to the swinger lifestyle to deal with these perfectly understandable fears is to feel the fear and do it anyway and do it with the certainty that you will not be the only newcomers or the most nervous there.
