Relationships do not exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history and expectations. Communication is the foundation of any relationship. Any relationship flourishes only if there is good communication between the two people involved.
Good communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and moments of change or stress can really cause disengagement. As long as you are communicating, you can solve any problem you face. The more easily we connect with the other person, the more successful our relationship is. As simple as communication seems, many of us experience difficulty successfully connecting with others. Much of what we try to communicate, and what others try to communicate to us, is overlooked or misunderstood, which can cause conflict and frustration in both personal and professional relationships.
There are some steps to good communication. The first thing would be to stop and listen. Sometimes with the fear of not being heard we keep saying things without thinking about what the other person has to say about it. It is very difficult at that moment to stop and listen to the other person.
The second step is to force yourself to listen. If you’ve stopped saying that, it doesn’t mean you’re listening to the other person. Your mind is still thinking what to do to prove your point. Just clear your mind for a second and listen to what the other person has to say.
The third step is to be open and honest with your partner. Being open about what you feel and need is really important in a relationship. Giving the silent treatment is not a sign of a good relationship. Being open means talking about things that you may never have talked about before with another human being in your life. It means being vulnerable and honest with your partner, completely and unabashedly. It means opening yourself up to possible hurts and disappointments. But it also means opening yourself up to the full potential of a relationship.
The fourth step would be to pay attention to non-verbal cues. Most of our communication depends not on what we say but on how we say it. Non-verbal communication is your body language, the tone of your voice, your inflection, eye contact, and how far away you are when talking to another person. Make and maintain eye contact, maintain a neutral body posture and tone of voice, and sit next to the person when you speak to them.
The fifth step is to stay focused on the here and now. It’s very easy in a discussion to forget about the topic you were arguing about because in most cases people move on to other topics while fighting over little things. To solve this problem, just respectfully walk away from the topic and try to avoid the big discussion. The sixth step is to try to minimize emotion when talking about big important decisions. No one can talk about big, important matters if they feel emotionally vulnerable or charged and angry.
Big decisions like money, marriage, children require serious thought and should be made when in a rational state of mind. The seventh step is to be ready to give an argument. Generally we all fight an argument because we want to be right. No one is ready to back down and accept their mistake simply because they want to be right. In such a case, both sides must back down. With this you can compromise and respect the other person and your relationship. The next step is humor and playfulness often helps.
Humor and fun can be easily added to the conversation to lighten the mood if there is frustration and help put everything into perspective. Joy reminds us that even as adults we can take a break from the seriousness of work. The last step is to communicate is more than just talk. To communicate better and more effectively in your relationship, you don’t just have to talk. You can communicate in other ways: through your actions, and now also electronically (via email, Facebook, blogs, text messages, or Twitter). Staying in touch throughout the day or week through email or other electronic means also reminds the person that you are thinking of them and how important they are in your life. Even if such communications are mostly playful or inconsequential, they can help lighten your partner’s day and improve their mood.
Nobody is a perfect communicator all the time. But you can work on becoming a better communicator by trying some of these tips. Not all of them will work, nor will they work all the time. However, better communication begins with one person making the effort to improve, which often encourages the other to join the journey.
