If a man focuses on his mother and does what he can to attend to her needs, it means that his life revolves around her. It won’t matter that he has his own needs and a life to lead.
However, although this is what will happen, the man may not even be aware of the fact that he is neglecting himself. What this probably illustrates is that, because of how long he’s been like this, this will be normal.
a lot to handle
With this in mind, if his mother passes away, it is likely that it will be very difficult for him to deal with her loss. Naturally, it would be difficult for almost any man to deal with the loss of his mother; what is different in this case is that she would have been the center of his life.
It wasn’t then that her mother was another part of her life; it was that his mother was the most important part of his life. So now that she’s gone, it won’t be a surprise if he’s in a bad way.
all in the sea
Although you will be an adult, you may feel like a helpless and dependent child. As a result of this, it will be as if a little boy had lost his mother, not a grown man.
To say that you will be sad may be an understatement; it may be as if you are drowning in sadness. He’ll be in the ground, then, but emotionally speaking, he’ll be in a very deep hole.
Two Experiences
At other times, you could end up disconnecting from how you feel and becoming deeply depressed. This will keep you from being able to feel anything but on the plus side it will give you a break from the deep pain you are in.
Getting out of bed can be challenging and you may not be able to function at work, that is if you have a job. If you were to seek support at this stage, and this could be something someone else encourages you to do, you could end up on medication or counselling.
Lost
Now, regardless of whether or not this happens, you may feel like you no longer have a reason to be alive. This is because her mother, the person who gave meaning to her life, will no longer be here.
If you have a job and other interests, this can prevent you from completely losing touch with reality and going inside yourself. But if not, he could end up more or less walking away from life and becoming a hermit.
keeping his distance
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Assuming you’re not in a relationship, you may not have the desire to be in one, even as weeks, months, and years go by. If you were to think about being in a relationship, you could end up overwhelmed with guilt.
There is a possibility that a part of him believes that this mother will return one day and his life will go back to the way it was before. This can be seen as a defense that her mind will use to prevent her from coming into contact with some of the pain that she feels.
Emotionally Stuck
The truth is that if he were to start a relationship, he would not be doing anything wrong or being disloyal; he would be doing the right thing. He would take care of his needs and do what is right for him.
Besides, no matter what defenses her mind uses, her mother isn’t coming back; her time on this earth has come to an end. However, despite the fact that his mother passed away and she is no longer there to direct her life, she will continue to live inside him.
internally oppressed
The mother he had very early on, the mother who probably would have used him to satisfy some of his unmet adult and childhood needs, will have been internalized. What this means is that it doesn’t matter that her mother is no longer there to punish, disapprove and/or abandon him if she expresses a need, as she will be in her own head making sure she behaves a certain way. . .
Expressing your own needs and living your own life will continue to be seen as a threat to your survival. That’s why, apart from not doing things for his mother, since she’s gone, he can do everything possible to live in the same way.
An exit
Thanks to the defenses of your mind, and the feelings you will experience, which will make it more or less impossible for you to face reality, you will be able to be like this for the rest of your life. What happened during his early years will end after defining his life forever.
If a small part of him wants to experience life differently and believes that this is possible, he will have the opportunity to change his life. It doesn’t matter how small this part is, as it will grow as time goes by, as long as he takes action.
Awareness
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If a man can relate to this and is ready to change his life, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.
