“What is defeat? Nothing more than education, nothing more than the first step towards something better.”
– Wendell Phillips.
Fear of defeat can be a paralyzing affliction.
The fear that if we take some course of action we may fail can be strong enough to keep many of us from even taking the path that leads to that action.
And what happens if we don’t take action? We remain in a state of inaction. Which doesn’t help us move forward at all.
But is that fear really of any help to us?
What would happen if we were wrong?
Would the world really end?
Granted, for a very small minority of stocks, the consequences of failure could be a matter of life and death, that’s true. But such actions are not the ones undertaken lightly, they are the ones for which one has trained extensively, for which one has significant support and backing, and so are highly unlikely to fail completely.
But for the vast majority of things we encounter in our daily lives, fatality is not a consequence of defeat or failure.
And yet, too often, we allow the fear of defeat to hold us back. Which ultimately harms us and our development, because we learn best not through our successes but through our failures and defeats. When we are successful at something, we discover a way to do it; but when we fail, we learn much more!
It is rumored that Thomas Edison, the inventor of the electric light bulb, made 10,000 attempts before succeeding. At one point, Edison was interviewed by a knowledgeable young man who asked if Edison felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up. Perplexed, Edison replied, “Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I give up? I now definitely know over 9,000 ways a light bulb won’t work. Success is almost within my grasp.” And shortly after, and after more than 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb.
Just imagine how much darker (literally) all of our lives would be if Edison had decided to give up after his first defeat. We are fortunate that he had the drive and determination to continue, and the intelligence to realize that the loss was not a failure, it was an invaluable education.
Have you ever liked someone, but been too afraid to go up and ask them out in case they said no? Most of us have at various stages of our lives, although these are situations that we would probably prefer to forget; I know I’ve been in those situations several times. I would see them, I really wanted to get to know them better, but I cared too much about asking them out in case they said no. So I didn’t get to know them any better. But suppose he had asked. What is the worst that could have happened? Even if they said no, it wouldn’t be any worse than before; in fact, he’d be better off because he’d have learned a few things about asking someone out; at least I’d know how not to do it next time, which would put me at an advantage the next time I found myself in that position.
Think back to when you learned to drive a car (if you can’t drive a car, I’m sure you can think of an equivalent skill you possess); I’m willing to bet he didn’t sit in the car on day 1 and drove it perfectly! No, you probably stopped it a few times, took a while to get used to the basics, made a lot of mistakes along the way. But did you give up because you couldn’t drive perfectly at first? No! You took those failures for what they were: opportunities for education, and you learned those lessons, improving your skill and ability with each step.
And so it is for all of us with whatever we undertake. It is very unlikely that we will do things perfectly from the beginning. But that’s no reason to avoid taking those steps in the first place. The key is realizing that we are going to make mistakes, lots of them, and resolve to learn as much as we can from those mistakes, make the most of the educational opportunities that really are, and become even better at whatever it is. we are undertaking
The next time you face a challenge and are afraid to do something if you fail, take a moment to stop and reflect. Consider what is the worst that could happen; really consider it carefully because it’s likely to be a lot less serious than you fear.
Then, make whatever preparations you need to be able to survive that outcome, keeping in mind that it’s not going to be as bad as you fear, and you absolutely can survive whatever the outcome is.
And then do it with the determination to succeed knowing that any defeat you meet along the way is nothing more than opportunities for guidance, learning and education, knowing that if you take the opportunity to learn from them, you will not only succeed, but also have a much greater success than he could have ever dreamed of!
Then truly accept any defeat you encounter, knowing that it will only serve to make you better, stronger, and ultimately more successful.
