Direct Answers – Column for the week of December 13, 2004
I am in a long-distance relationship that is five months old; Of those five months we have spent a total of 15 days together spread over a period of two months. As in all relationships, it was wonderful at first. We spent long hours on the phone getting to know each other and catching up on what was going on in each other’s lives.
About two months ago I noticed that her calls were not as frequent as they used to be. He says it’s because he’s busy. I accept it because I know that his work is demanding, but somehow I feel that it is not too much to ask for a phone call a day. The way things are now, we haven’t seen each other in three months, and if I don’t call him, I don’t think he’ll call me until a week goes by without a word from me.
He says he loves me. I want to believe that he knows what love is. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make our relationship work, but I feel like I’m giving 95% and he’s giving 50%. How can I get him to open his eyes and see what his indifferent attitude towards our relationship is doing to me?
sydney
Sydney, in Dean Koontz’s novel “Odd Thomas,” a couple goes to a county fair. In the back of a game store, they find an unusual machine. The upper part of the machine is glazed. Inside the glass is a realistic looking gypsy fortune teller with a colorful headscarf.
Another couple stands in front of the glass. They put a coin in the machine and the woman asks if she and her boyfriend will have a long and happy marriage. The groom presses the answer button and a card falls into a brass tray. The letter reads: “A cold wind blows, and each night seems to last a thousand years.”
Not satisfied with the answer, they toss another coin and the woman asks again if they will have a long and happy marriage. This time, the card says: “The fool jumps from the cliff, but the winter lake below is frozen.” On the third try, they get a card that says, “The orchard of withered trees produces poisonous fruit.”
Eight times the pair tosses a coin and each time they receive a similar response. They argue and leave. Then the second couple, clearly in love with each other, steps forward and deposits a coin. A card falls out that reads, “They are meant to be together forever.”
Sydney, we put your question to the gypsy fortune teller. A card fell out. She would say, “A cold wind blows, and every night…”
Wayne and Tamara
young hemingway
I work with a girl, and this girl couldn’t be more different from other girls I’ve met. Besides her eyes, her personality is one of the best I’ve ever seen, and she’s beautiful.
I recently graduated from high school. I didn’t date because I know how relationships are at school, so I skipped the drama. I also think I matured mentally faster than most of my classmates. I’m not trying to be arrogant, but I’m pretty charming and I think I know how to make a relationship work.
You may be thinking, “Why not ask her out?” That’s the problem. She’s 24 and I’m 18. Do you think asking her out is a good idea?
brandon
Brandon, you still have to handle the matador’s cape, but you feel ready to enter the bullring. We admire your bravado, but bravado gets a lot of novice bullfighters gored.
When you avoided high school relationships, you also avoided the experience you gained from them. At 24 years old, this woman once again has a third of her life experience.
If her bravado is enough to strut into the ring and face the bull head-on, ask her out. We’re just waiting for the emergency medical technicians to be ready.
Wayne and Tamara
