Has your wife told you that you need to find yourself? This vague and confusing phrase does nothing good for a relationship, and sends the dropper into panic mode. So what are you supposed to do when she leaves you because she needs to find herself, and what does that mean?
Honestly, when she tells you she needs to “find herself,” more often than not the problem runs deeper. He probably doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or doesn’t even know what the real problem is.
So what you have to do is:
1. Accept that something is wrong with your wife and with the relationship.
Acceptance is the first step. When you accept that something is wrong, you leave behind the need to panic. Most people refuse a breakup because they simply don’t want to face the facts of their lover’s unhappiness.
The truth is that something is going on with your wife, and it is most likely…
2. Feels unappreciated.
A big reason women will withdraw from a long-term relationship or marriage is because they don’t feel appreciated. Getting back together with her wife depends on his realizing the importance of showing her appreciation for her.
This doesn’t mean you have to fawn over her endlessly, but call her at work or leave little notes at home letting her know that you love what she does for you. Even if it’s as simple as doing laundry or taking the kids to school… the little things add up.
But if she has already told you that she is thinking about breaking up, what do you really do?
3. Let her go knowing you CAN get her back.
The key right now is not to stop her when she says she’s breaking up with you because she needs to find herself. Women are independent creatures and need to be given their freedom. It may be that her wife just feels the need to get some air, so to speak…so let her.
Don’t try to stop him from breaking up with you. Instead, say, “Okay, I get it. I’m okay with you wanting to have some space or break up.” Whatever your choice of words, just let yourself go.
In some cases, he’ll just realize that things aren’t so great without you and he’ll really start to miss you. However, if it doesn’t, there’s nothing you can do. So at this point you need to start focusing on yourself: your own appearance, your hobbies, your general level of attractiveness.
This is important so that you can make yourself as attractive as possible to her the next time she sees you after the breakup.
