While 50% of the male population is exclusively heterosexual, only 4% is exclusively homosexual. About 10% of men at some point in their life have predominantly homosexual relationships for a period of a few years. A man’s orientation is determined by the sexual anatomy of the partner causing his arousal and sexual drive to engage in penetrative sex.
Homosexual men are often promiscuous. Research indicates that a high proportion of gay men have sex with many different men, and 22 percent have had more than ten partners. This contrasts with only 29 per cent of lesbian women who have sex with more than two partners and only 4 per cent who have had more than ten partners. Lesbians are rarely promiscuous.
Sexual pleasure is based on a man’s own physical gratification rather than the emotional rewards women enjoy from pleasing a lover. Young men, both gay and straight, tend to focus on penetration and ejaculation as the goal of an encounter. They approach sex with an ego which means that a sexual partner’s sexual attributes are a trophy to brag about. They are easily flattered that someone agrees to have sex with them. A man’s desperation to find a partner can lead him to accept any type of sexual activity.
It’s a good idea to get to know someone before you become sexually involved. Having sex with someone tells you little about the person. Many men (gay and straight) begin by choosing a sexual partner based on sexual chemistry. If a man stops letting lust cloud his judgment, he can make different sexual decisions. If a person is someone you would never be friends with under any other circumstances, or want to be friends with, or want any of your friends or family to get together with, maybe you should stay away.
Young people (regardless of orientation) have disadvantages when it comes to being a good lover. First of all, their responsiveness is a problem because they cannot maintain an erection long enough to spend their time pleasuring and being pleasured by a lover. The novelty means that they ejaculate quickly. Young men look for quantity over quality of interaction. They measure their relationships in terms of a lover’s sexual attributes and see no value in knowing them as people. They do not care that their lover has nothing in common with them or that they are nice or even decent people.
Due to their youth, the youngsters lack experience. The experience helps us relax to create a comfortable environment to enjoy sexual pleasure. Experience helps with entrances and reduces any awkwardness with a new lover. It teaches how we can suggest sexual activity and vary the pace. It teaches us what we ourselves enjoy and also what a lover can enjoy.
Casual sex, even with protection, is always a risk. Being the penetrator may sound simple, but we’re not talking about sticking a rod into a hole here. A penetrator needs to use some sensitivity and respond to feedback. Verbal communication can be helpful. The person being penetrated can cooperate and give feedback to accommodate the thrusting action of the penetrator and make it more erotic and sexually gratifying. This cooperation is based on consent and represents the line between pain and pleasure.
A gay man should always protect himself, including by using condoms and lubricants. Many of the tissues involved in penetrative gay sex are sensitive and easy to tear. There are many ways to give and receive sexual pleasure. Sex between men does not need to include penetration. No one should feel pressured to have penetrative sex, especially if both partners don’t enjoy it. If something doesn’t feel right, it shouldn’t be done. Sex is about pleasure, both given and received. If it hurts, then stop.
Good sex involves finding a long-term partner with whom you can experiment, explore, and discover what you like. Taking the time to choose a partner who is a good match (in personality, values, and interests) and investing in that relationship can make male homosexual experiences much more rewarding. Good sex is ultimately a matter of intimacy and pleasure. Loving, passionate sex is so much more satisfying than a one night stand with a guy who may be enthusiastic but isn’t good at it.
Even if gay men theoretically agree to open relationships, they are notoriously jealous. Open relationships smack of a selfish desire to find lovers and have an alternative. If a guy isn’t willing to commit, let that be a deal breaker. This doesn’t necessarily mean being a couple for life, but rather building a substantial relationship that lasts for years rather than months.
Perhaps there is a misconception that gay men cannot derive pleasure from penetrating a vagina. But it is much more likely that this is not a problem of the stimulation involved. The problem is the fact that gay men are not turned on by women’s bodies. They don’t find the female sexual anatomy remotely exciting. So they don’t get turned on by any activity with a woman. The stimulation involved in any sexual situation is just that: stimulation. The mental stimuli that cause arousal and orgasm are much more important.
Many of the (homosexual) men had been highly promiscuous, sometimes finding tens or hundreds of sexual partners. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)