When I first looked at the cover of the book, I thought, ‘Oh wow, this looks kind of sweet to me,’ but I still bought it because it was recommended to me by one of my clients as a good and interesting read. This was many years ago and since then I have used ideas from this book with every couple that comes to work with me.
Summary
After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman realized that people had different ways in which they showed love to another person and for some reason they are usually attracted to someone who shows it in a different way. . He came up with five basic categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
More in details
This book explains the different languages (categories) of love in detail, how to discover your primary love language, and talks about what happens through the different stages of a relationship.
Dr. Gary Chapman injects into his explanations many stories of people who attended his seminars and who, using the theory of ‘The five languages of love’, have significantly changed the level of satisfaction in their relationship or marriage.
I specifically liked his love tank theory and the idea that we pay with the currency of our primary love language, so the receiver’s account might prefer another currency. She also suggests that couples play a game in which one partner asks the other, “What could you do today that would make your love tank soar?” By taking responsibility for your own needs and tastes and indicating what it would be, you allow your partner to collect more and more ideas on how to make the most effective payments in your emotional love tank.
If you are now curious about what her primary love language is: there is a test at the end of the book, both for him and for her.
About the Author
Dr. Gary Chapman is a pastor, speaker, and author. He teaches his ‘Five Love Languages’ and talks about marriage, family and relationships, across the United States and internationally as well. He has written more than thirty books and created five video shows.
‘The Five Languages of Love’ was published in 1992 and has since been translated into more than forty different languages. This book has sold more than five million copies, making it a perennial New York Times bestseller.
Recommendation
More than the number of books sold is the effect this has had on so many couples I have been working with. This book is easy for both husband and wife to read and contains practical advice on how to make your relationship more fulfilling and happy. This is basic knowledge for any couple, married or not.
